Click.... hisssss....puffff
Reviewed by Cigarette Smoking Man A
I love tittays, I really do.
I think they're the best thing since the existence of Chuck Norris. A large, well-formed, perfectly supple pair of tittays are able to start wars and bring forth chaos. An example in mind is the lead actress for this thriller, Bereavement. No thriller had create such ruckus on a pair of tittays since the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre's scene of Jessica Biel running in slo-mo after an explosion or something (can't remember, was staring at that pair of puppies throughout to actually remember what's the movie about). I figured the casting directors for this movie shares the same sentiments as I do,"Hey, it worked for Texas Chainsaw! It might work for this as well!".
The movie starts with a child being kidnapped from his swing back in the 80's, his whereabouts then unknown. The kidnapper decides to groom the child to take on his legacy as a serial killer as he's forced to bear witness to some of the killer's murderous acts. Fast forward to the present we have our lead actress, Alison shifting to her uncle's place after the death of her parents, some backwater, podunk countryside. She's an athlete in her previous school, so its natural she's into some sort of sports right? And what she does to maintain her fitness levels? She jogs. I love it, we have ample scenes of her jogging, with that pair of awesome, mind-blowing tittays heaving up and down as she goes (thank God for gravity). Along the way she manages to befriend some guy with an alcoholic dad and somehow the guy serves as a companion to her adjusting to new surroundings and town. One day jogging, she manage to stumble upon a dilapidated farmhouse unbeknownst to her, housed the killer and the child, now a kid with bad communication skills.
My take on the movie is, character development. The lead actress, totally devoid of any facial expression, struggles with acting in this thriller, her only saving grace is her pair of tittays, which I can say, have more expression than herself. I also do not understand why they have to include the young boy, since he's the premise for the entire plot of the movie, I feel that he should have bigger role with in-depth character development, instead on just focusing on a pair of tittays, we're horror/thriller/gore fans, not pervy buffoons. Watch this if you have nothing to do on a lazy afternoon, i cannot guarantee the gore and thrills, if a nice pair of heaving bosoms is your thing, this movie have AMPLES of it.
Ciggies if you like well-formed tittays!
Ciggy if you're a woman, in that case you can stare at your own all day. Not fair.
